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My expectations about what was downstairs reflected the fact the word dungeon conjured up a utilitarian room of whips, chains, cages, racks and stocks.Ruby shattered that illusion when she said, as she held open a dungeon door, “Nowadays no one expects the Spanish Inquisition.”Forewarned, Lady Cynthia and I entered the English Home magazine version of a dungeon, all leather and silk and as tasteful as any Knightsbridge apartment. That is not to say it didn’t incorporate certain furnishings that weren’t as synonymous with designer chic.I looked around and spotted a number of discreetly positioned paddles and a spanking bench. And in the chest of drawers, beside an upmarket cage, were dildos, strap-ons, anal plugs, spreader bars and handcuffs.I nervously teased Cyn about the size of some of the toys as we waited for the hostess Ruby had selected for us. And when the door swung open, gobsmacked didn’t even get close. The woman who entered was clad in an exiguous leather thong and bra,. . A giggle.The evil creature in front of him, this 'Apple', nearly dropped thepistol for her laughter. Nearly. "That's it? The mighty, the famous,the 'all-powerful' laugh? Try again, girlie!"He scowled, not realising that the expression now came out as a cutepout, before trying again. The same result. And it finally came to him,this was the reason she had done this to his body. To use his laugh, tocause peace and goodwill amongst men, he needed his belly, his throat,what good was a man's belly laugh to a girl without a belly?! To addinsult to injury, the voice he had unconsciously used to giggle in wasvery definitely 'naughty'!The girl in front of the now very definitely feminine Santa took on thetraditional evil villain swagger as she started to pace, confident thatthe former man was no threat."So, Mr. Claus, or should that be Ms. Claus, I guess you're stillwondering why? Well, I'm bloody sick of this shit." She gestured wildlywith the pistol as she talked, leaving the still-stunned.
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